Goldman Sachs executives were skewered on Capitol Hill this week. They were sach-ed. The men faced blistering cross examination by the Senate on the firm’s mortgage market and its role in the country’s financial collapse.
During their time on the hot seat, the current and former leaders, along with the prolific e-mail braggart known as “Fabulous Fab,” were lambasted with biting questions and criticism from outraged lawmakers. Unrepentant, resistant, and uneasy, the executives denied responsibility as lawmakers ripped into them.
Can you imagine handling that kind of fiery criticism? Many businessmen and women are fearful of being blasted in the workplace following presentations or even in team meetings.
As I’ve coached high-powered executives for the past decade, I’ve heard a recurring theme: the fear of criticism. It’s the fear that you’ll be judged harshly or won’t measure up to expectations. This fear is growing because we’re living in a world that encourages cheap shots. Snarky people abound on the Internet and otherwise, unleashing their inner Simon Cowell, judging others severely.
Here’s the problem: fear of criticism is like kryptonite to executives. It has a crippling effect, draining your power and influence. It can cause you to hold back instead of contributing. It may lead you to be defensive when well-meaning people offer constructive feedback. Or it may cause you to play it too safe and offer a vanilla version of what could have been a much more compelling contribution.
Even the most capable leaders can be crippled by a secret fear of criticism. Here are a few tips to help you overcome it:
- Resist the temptation to be defensive. Do you often jump in and cut off criticism with a knee-jerk defensive reaction? If so, you may unwittingly escalate the situation. Cutting off tough critics often causes them to grow more determined. As a result, they may zap you even harder next time. Defensiveness and evasiveness can also turn off well-meaning allies.
- Keep the criticizer’s intent in mind. Bosses, co-workers and others in your life may offer feedback because they want to help you. Their constructive feedback may be intended to help you improve your performance, not as a cheap shot or a grandstanding opportunity. Consider their true intent. Maybe they’re sharing wisdom from their own lessons learned. Is it possible you’re overly sensitive to criticism?
- Ride the wave. One of the best approaches to handling criticism is to listen carefully and let the person finish completely. Resist the temptation to deflect point-by-point. By hearing their full point of view, you stand the best chance to uncover the real issue and correct what may need to be fixed.
- Conquer your inner critic. Often, the critical voice in your head is carrying too much weight. It can be far worse than anyone else’s potshot. Give it a rest. Starting today, create a positive daily dialogue to overrule your habit of critical self-talk.
- Don’t be an avoider. There’s an old saying, “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” Clearly avoidance isn’t the answer. Turn it around. Face it. Get the confrontation over with instead of dreading it all day. Often, reality isn’t nearly as bad as the situation you imagined and avoided.
Some people trace their fear of criticism back to childhood, when they experienced excessive criticism that’s gotten stuck in their head like a broken record. Others have received tongue-lashings from hypercritical bosses and had their confidence crushed.
Whatever its source, learning to conquer criticism gracefully is a sign of maturity and leadership.
It happened to the President of the United States on his home turf last week. At the end of his prime time health care news conference, Barack Obama answered a hot button question that was totally off-topic. Instead of asking about health care, a reporter asked the president what he thought of the confrontation between Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police officer James Crowley. The president weighed in with his opinion on race relations, ending with the tantalizing words “acted stupidly.”
You heard about the married politician caught trysting with his girlfriend in Argentina. On the day he was caught returning from his fun in the sun, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford held a hasty, free association press conference at the statehouse to drop the bomb.
As a broadcaster, I spent many years in recording studios. I was astounded to learn there was a major difference between how my voice sounded inside my head…and the way it sounded when the engineer played back the recording. I didn’t come across nearly as energetic or upbeat as my voice sounded in my head. Instead, I sounded flat and bored. I had to learn to boost my energy level to compensate.
You’re a smart person. The axe is falling on leaders everywhere and you want to come across as valuable and indispensable, right? Here’s a quick cautionary tale to bullet-proof your credibility, straight from your TV.
Let’s say you get 100 e-mails a day. (Everybody wants to “keep you in the loop.”) Do you realize how much of your time that’s eating up? At 3 minutes a piece, it takes you 5 hours to read and respond. 5 solid hours! No wonder you’re having trouble getting things done – you’re stuck in e-mail jail.
We’re living in a harsh, harsh world. I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can now get a daily dose of cheap shots here on the Internet. Follow the comment section after most web entries and you’ll find boatloads of hyper-critical, snarky comments. Turn on your TV and there it is again – the Simon Cowell effect – people openly judging and grading others harshly. Ouch.
Out with the old, in with the new. As we say goodbye to George Bush and his colorful, sometimes mangled communications, (can you say misunderestimated?) we usher in a new era of oratory.
Incoming President-Elect Barack Obama has so far been an extraordinary Communicator-in-Chief which, ironically, his detractors hold against him. His critics call him “Mr. Podium.” They argue that he merely talks a good game. I’m not buying that. While I agree that blowhards are not true leaders, from what I’ve seen, Obama’s no blowhard. His words are based on visions that are implemented to unite and inspire action. Isn’t that the opposite of empty rhetoric? Far from merely talking a good game, if you communicate your visions effectively, action is the endgame.
News reports throughout the weekend referred to Jett Travolta as “the son of John Travolta” and called the boy’s death “The John Travolta Tragedy.” The boy’s mother was an afterthought in the news reports, if she was even mentioned at all.
Game over. Cleveland Browns owner Randy Lerner moved swiftly to fire his front office following the final, crushing loss of the season. He cut general manager Phil Savage loose by phone after Sunday’s defeat, and then sacked coach Romeo Crennel the next morning. Most Joes and pros alike support Lerner’s moves because the team under-performed in humiliating fashion this season.
and forth or bouncing your legs or feet are very distracting and make it difficult for others to focus on your words. Keep the lower body quiet in order to give power to your presence.
