Archive for the ‘Media Skills’ Category
Thursday, July 8th, 2010 by Connie Dieken
We are all witnesses, indeed.
We’re all sick of witnessing the LeBron-aThon. Many of you are upset at the athlete, thinking his “The Decision” announcement show on ESPN is the height of inflated egomania.
But let’s turn to LeBron’s communication strategy. He’s opened a “last-minute” Twitter account this week, re-launched his website, and is taking his announcement to live TV worldwide. Yes, it’s narcissistic. But it’s also a sound approach for a man who’s building a GLOBAL brand. This is opportunity communication, as opposed to crisis communication. It’s Tiger Woods in reverse. LeBron’s suspense-building tactic is cutting through the worldwide media clutter and claiming his space at the top of the mountain. LeBron is owning his message instead of letting others control it.
Operation “Billionaire Communicator” has begun. From puff of chalk to puffed-up ego.
At last, LeBron’s desire for global dominance is visibly in full swing with his newly-launched communication approach. The millionaire-to-millionaire dog and pony show presentation pitches have come and gone. But if you think the media coverage of the courtship has been maddening, imaging the frenzy after the decision is announced tonight. You could fill an hour-long show about it.
Whoops. LeBron’s a step ahead of us.
He already knows the media will be clamoring for the reasoning behind his decision and the impact it will have on the hostage cities involved, so LeBron is managing the situation by being live on the global leader in sports, ESPN. With the Boys and Girls Club as his beneficiary backdrop, to boot. It’s opportunity communication when you know you’re going to break four cities’ hearts but you want time to explain yourself beyond a sound bite. Basketball fans in the losing cities will disgustedly change the channel as soon as he drops them like a hot potato. But the rest of the GLOBE will be watching.
And that, I suspect, is the heart of the LeBron James Operation Billionaire Communicator plan. Global dominance.
Tags: communication, LeBron James
Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills, Presentation Skills | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 by Connie Dieken
The world’s most famous athlete and a two-time presidential contender both torpedoed their careers with their self-destructive narcissism. Tiger Woods referred to his ego- maniacal state as a “sense of entitlement” in his televised mea culpa. John Edwards outed himself as a narcissist in an ABC interview after he was caught cheating on his cancer-stricken wife.
Perhaps there’s someone in your world who’s narcissistic. You may find it challenging to communicate with a person who’s grown accustomed to being puffed up by praise and attention. Surrounded by deferential people – their power walls adorned with plaques – they’ve become bloated versions of themselves. How do you get your message across to a person with an inflated ego?
Let’s back up for a moment. You may not have put a label on their behavior, but here are a few clues to help you identify the egomaniac in your life. You can often peg a narcissist by their:
- grandiose sense of self-importance
- self-absorption
- sense of entitlement
- impulsiveness
- craving for excessive admiration
- preoccupation with power
- lack of empathy
- judgmental, critical nature
- belief that rules don’t apply to them
- intolerance to setbacks or slights
- explosive anger when frustrated
Know anyone like that? Let’s set aside their vanity (and their sexual vitality in the case of our two high-profile narcissists) and focus on their behavior towards YOU when they get frustrated. Ever been the target of a narcissist’s anger or condemnation? Their once-charming personality morphs into melt-down mode. They lob verbal grenades at you and howl at the moon. It’s painful to be on the receiving end of their demanding, demeaning behavior.
Here are 5 quick tips to help you communicate more effectively with a narcissist:
- Give them options. Beneath their bluster, narcissistic people fear being left out of the loop. They crave control. It’s far better to offer them options to choose from, rather than feeding them ready-made decisions. They’ll tear other people’s decisions to shreds. Giving them options helps them feel respected and in control. It also prevents nasty hissy fits.
- Focus on solutions, not problems. When you explain a problem or a challenge to a narcissist, direct attention to the solution. Don’t allow them to dissect the problem over and over again. Narcissists love drama and revel in the chaos. They’re easily agitated when frustrated. Define problems and present possible solutions, so they don’t smell blood in the water and tear you apart.
- Make them the hero. Narcissists are preoccupied with power and truly believe they are special and unique. They live for attention and admiration. Want them to do something? Tell them how great they are at it and watch them perform. Better yet, praise their performance in front of others. Just keep it real, please.
- Let them think it’s their idea. Narcissists often steal the credit for ideas that aren’t theirs. Why do they do that? Strangely, they truly believe that hijacked results are their own. Grabbing credit is a driving force for them. If this gets things done, I say learn to live with it. Over time, everyone will catch on – wink, wink. Meantime, graciously transferring credit for ideas to them makes things happen.
- Manage their emotional blind spot. Egomaniacs lack empathy. They’re so caught up in their own world that it doesn’t occur to them to consider your feelings or viewpoints. It’s a huge blind spot. You must put your own feelings on the table if you choose to do so. Just be smart about sharing feelings with a narcissist. Brace yourself for the guilt trips and disparaging criticism that narcissists often dole out when others explain how they feel.
For those of you stuck in a tough relationship – either professionally or personally – I hope you’ll find these tips helpful and will pass them on to others who need them. I believe the key to communicating successfully with a narcissist is to smartly manage the relationship, not just cope with it.
Tags: Communication Skills, Connie Dieken, Egomaniac, John Edwards, narcissism, Tiger Woods
Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills | No Comments »
Friday, February 19th, 2010 by Connie Dieken
Time is of the essence when you owe someone an apology in the Internet age. As we all know, Tiger Woods certainly didn’t rush to retract. By waiting 80 days to speak publicly, many people are convinced that he’s arrogant and that he doesn’t care.
So how did Tiger do once he finally stepped up to the tee to begin to make amends? Was it a good recovery shot? He handled some parts of the apology well, and others were lacking.
Bottom line: the content was strong; his delivery was weak.
First, why the content was strong:
- He didn’t sidestep. He focused on the hot buttons: he cheated, he alone is to blame, he’s sorry for what he’s done, and he’s taking steps to ensure that it never happens again.
- He focused on the people he’d hurt. He acknowledged that people had good reason to be critical of him. His target audiences for the apology were his wife and immediate family, his business partners and his fans. He was specific on how he’d let them down.
- He delivered a clear takeaway for the TV audience. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done” came through loud and clear.
- He stated the solution. He shared exactly what he’s doing to try to make things right – that he’s been in rehab for the past 45 days and that he’s returning there to keep working on his issues. He also pointed that he’s returned to his faith after drifting away. He said that he’s working to ensure that he never repeats the mistakes that he’s made.
On the flip side, how did Tiger’s delivery hurt his ability to convince people of his sincerity?
- He appeared to speak from the head, not the heart. He read out loud from a prepared script. Many people are slamming him for this today. I am not among them. Why? Tiger is not a dynamic personality – never has been, and probably never will be. He needed to stick to his comfort zone of being prepared and methodical. It was crafted by a smart speechwriter – ad libbing was a risk that he wasn’t willing to take.
- He should have memorized the open and spoken it directly to the audience. When you’re stiff in your opening, it gives the impression that you’re insincere. He would’ve been better served by frontloading a more heartfelt opening. I do give him credit for facing the camera lens directly when he delivered his “I’m sorry” messages and other issues where he showed true emotion about his wife and family, though he was equally adamant about not being a steroid cheater.
Perhaps the most remarkable statement was his admission of being a self-absorbed narcissist. “I never thought about who I was hurting. I thought only about myself. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to,” said Tiger.
I believe rehab is teaching Tiger that the grandiose self-importance, sense of entitlement, and impulsiveness of narcissism has caused chaos and pain for everyone around him. Narcissists are so caught up in their own worlds and meeting their own impulsive needs, that the needs of others are simply not on their radar screens. Today’s admission of being self-absorbed, more than anything else he said, is what can change Tiger’s world.
To me, this is the communication lesson: Tiger is a living, breathing example the danger of over-communicating with ourselves, and under-communicating with the others in our lives. It’s critical to connect with others by listening for their needs and values. At the end of his prepared speech, Tiger said he’s now relying on others to help him change and become “a better man.” Good for him. If Tiger can conquer his narcissism, it will be a true story of redemption beyond the golf course. Which gives hope for everyone out there who’s suffered with a narcissist in their life.
Tags: Apology, communication, Elin Nordgren, narcissism, narcissist, Public Statement, Tiger Woods
Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Media Skills | 1 Comment »
Monday, February 1st, 2010 by admin
Did you read the headlines? “Jackson Kids Steal the Show!” the news articles proclaimed, calling the appearance of Michael Jackson’s two eldest children the most memorable moment of the 52nd annual Grammy Awards Show.
What does this have to do with communication skills, you ask? Everything. In a room filled with big egos, these two young people nailed the three things that you must do as a 21st century communicator: they got attention, got to the point, and got results – and so can you. These skills are crucial whether you’re presenting your ideas to big egos, big wallets, or big knuckleheads.
This post is not about Michael Jackson’s kids on stage. Believe it or not, it’s about what you can learn from Michael’s approach to presentation skills that can transform and elevate your presentations forever. Turns out, Michael Jackson was not just a performer, he was the ultimate presenter. He was every bit as good or even better than the much-heralded Steve Jobs at presenting ideas that people respond to.
I was struck by what businesspeople can learn by watching the newly released video chronicling Michael’s stage preparations for his planned final shows in London, “This is It.” Here are 3 quick lessons:
1. The best presentations are built around your relationship with the audience
At the end of the film, you’ll see Michael and the crew gather in a large circle on stage. Director Kenny Ortega asks Michael to share a few words. Listen closely – what Michael says is the the stamp of a true presentation genius. He tells the crew that a successful show is not based upon the dance moves, or the special effects, or even on him. It’s a presenter’s relationship with the audience that matters most. Success is attained by the way you make people feel while they’re in your presence. Lesson: don’t get caught up in worrying about yourself or your slides during a presentation. Zero in on your relationship with the audience. Make their experience the king of the show and you’ll earn positive responses.
2. When you elevate others, everyone wins (including you)
Watch how Michael brings out the best in others. He stays gracious and kindhearted as he coaches the musicians, singers, and dancers during the rehearsals. He’s 100% clear on what he wants from others, yet he doesn’t come across as all high and mighty or a taskmaster. As a result, Michael Jackson draws the best possible performance out of everyone around him. Lesson: Stay relaxed, gracious, and humble at your presentations. Don’t let anxiety or pressure get the best of you. The most effective presenters are thoughtful, inspiring leaders who play well in the sandbox.
3. Who’s the one communicator you should listen to most?
Why there were so many hours of rehearsal footage filmed prior to the concert run? Michael Jackson studied the “dailies.” He knew that he was in the connecting business, so he wanted to see how his “presentations” would come across to audiences from the stage, even before the seats were filled. Chances are you hate to see yourself on tape. Heck, I avoided watching tapes of myself during many years in the broadcast TV business. But, ironically, as an executive coach I finally discovered the true power of videotaped assessments – they allow you to see the real you. As Michael Jackson clearly understood, there’s one communicator that you should listen to as much as possible – and that’s you. Study videotapes to hone your presentation’s content, your true voice, and your executive presence and you’ll earn a positive response from every audience.
Tags: Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Grammy Awards, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson's Kids, Paris Jackson, Presentation Skills, Prince Jackson, This Is It
Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills, Presentation Skills | No Comments »
Sunday, January 17th, 2010 by admin
Kraft Chairman and CEO Irene Rosenfeld is scrambling to persuade shareholders that her company’s $17 billion bid to buy British candymaker Cadbury is good for both companies. Her pursuit has drawn poor reactions from both Cadbury’s shareh
olders and Kraft’s biggest shareholder, Warren Buffett.
I’ll tie this career-defining move to the CEO’s habitual Tilt-A-Whirl head movements (see the photo on the right from a different event) in a moment. First, let’s get your head straight on the essentials.
Rosenfeld is seeking to transform the world’s No. 2 food company into an even bigger global juggernaut – but some feel she hasn’t hit the sweet spot with this takeover attempt.
After Cadbury complained that her price was too low, she told investors that she planned to issue new stock to help pay for the purchase. Buffett, America’s most influential investor, responded with a public smackdown; a press release warning her not to sell stock or increase her price lest it destroy value for Kraft’s shareholders. Don’t spend too much, he urged, as he tried to rein her in. She has until January 19 to make her final offer. Kraft shareholders will vote February 1 on whether to issue more stock. Cadbury stockholders will vote on February 2.
Now, in an effort to convince shareholders and save the deal, the 56-year old CEO is trying to placate both groups. Kraft has posted a video on its corporate website of Rosenfeld being interviewed by a British woman.
Her message in this video is influential but unfortunately, a distracting body language habit trumps the brilliant woman’s point of view. It’s a case of the eyes trump the ears. People must buy into the messenger before they buy into the message. Rosenfeld comes across as a human Tilt-A-Whirl, constantly tilting her head from side-to-side as she speaks. Left-right-left-right-left-right. In addition, in an apparent attempt to appear warm and likable, the CEO plasters on a smile throughout the interview, even when it’s not warranted.
Here are two quick presentation/media coaching tips to help you prevent undermining your executive presence with nervous body signals:
- Avoid tilting your head. It looks coy and cute. It’s not a powerful professional move unless you happen to work on the Las Vegas Strip. If that’s not your line of business, keep your head on straight.
- Plastered-on smiles don’t cut it. Yes, you’ve heard many times that you should smile, and in most cases you should. But here’s the real truth about smiling: If your smile doesn’t come across as genuine, it can backfire on you. Make sure your smile is heartfelt.
People monitor you for the signals you send. Project a balance of likability and credibility to hit the sweet spot. Don’t let nervous energy undermine your credibility. To learn more about how your energy level is tied to your ability to influence others, read chapter 12 of my book, Talk Less, Say More.
Tags: body language, Cadbury, CEO, Communication Skills, Connie Dieken, Executive Presence, Irene Rosenfeld, Kraft, Media Skills, Presentation Skills, tips, Warren Buffett
Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills, Presentation Skills | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 11th, 2010 by admin
I spent many years anchoring the late news for an NBC-owned station, so I’m keenly aware of why general managers at NBC affiliates across America banded together, morphed into “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, and wrestled the network to the ground. They’d had it up to HERE with The Jay Leno Show experiment strangling their revenue streams, so they let loose with a SmackDown after four months.
The affiliates tag-teamed the network. But you can also credit your own thumb – the one that you use to change the channels on your remote control.
Turns out, your thumb is actually the biggest part of this story. Why? Because you tend to ease your death grip on the remote at 11 PM. Maybe it’s because your significant other has fallen asleep, maybe you’ve run out of juice for the day, or maybe it’s because you feel that all 11 PM newscasts are basically alike. (News-Weather-Sports. Yadda-Yadda-Yadda.) Whatever your reason, the channel you land on at 10 PM tends to win your eyeballs for the 11PM News due to your suddenly lazy thumb.
Why is this so important? It’s simple, lopsided math. In contract negotiations during my years as a prime time anchor, management revealed that late evening newscasts were responsible for up to 45% of the station’s advertising revenues. So in order to dial for dollars, we needed the network’s 10 PM programming to hand us a boatload of viewers who’d already put down their weapons for the night. (Of course, we hoped to attract yo
u with our fetching hairstyles and sparkling news anchor personalities, but most of us knew better than that.)
So there you have it. For the past four months, NBC has stuck its affiliates with rotten ratings leading into their Power Hour while it was saving tons of cash shunning costly scripted dramas. In response, the affiliates produced their own drama worthy of the Internet Age. Amid already-ravaged advertising revenue, they tag-teamed NBC and toppled the network with a “Stone Cold” Stunner.
Tags: 11PM News, evening news, Jay Leno Show, NBC Affiliates, News Anchor, remote control, SmackDown, Stone Cold Steve Austin, WWE
Posted in Media Skills | 1 Comment »
Sunday, October 18th, 2009 by admin
The balloon boy’s dad, Richard Heene, thought he’d convinced America that his eccentric family should have its own reality show.
Instead, he got a reality check.
Why? We were on to him, suspicious of his communication style from the get-go. The circumstances leading up to the Jiffy Pop balloon escapade were telling: the Wife Swap appearances. The rant-filled video of the balloon release. The former colleagues calling Heene a narcissistic attention-seeker.
Dad got precisely the attention he didn’t want when his non-balloon boy opened his mouth on live TV. Falcon revealed what six year olds often do – the truth. “You said we did it for the show,” he replied to dear old dad, talking too much.
Whoops. The family’s alibi just floated away.
So what does this have to do with you in the workplace? Everything. We’re living in a skeptical world. Even when you try to convince others to buy into your ideas and decisions legitimately, people are suspicious they’re being duped. The more you talk, the less they believe. The new default status is to assume that people are pulling a fast one.
In my new book, Talk Less, Say More, I lay out the three habits you need to influence others successfully in our demanding 21st century world. The 3 habits are to Connect-Convey-Convince®. Heene’s stunt soared through the first two habits by engaging and laying out a strong storyline, but his balloon popped as he attempted the third and trickiest habit, to convince.
First, let’s get clear about what I mean by convincing, which is very different from manipulating. The difference is intent. Manipulators like Richard Heene focus on their own needs and theirs alone. They’re determined to get their way, regardless of their impact on others. They’ll steamroll, lie, or talk too much in order to get what they want. Ultimately, a manipulator’s story doesn’t ring true, so he/she fails to convince.
It’s a tremendous challenge to influence behaviors, decisions and actions in today’s skeptical world. Here are three strategies to help you convince honestly and successfully:
- Sound decisive. Stop babbling and backpedaling. Caught in a tangled web when his son outed him, Heene started backpedaling. He stalled as he tried to come up with an plausible answer as to why Falcon said, “we did it for the show.” With the evidence mounting against him, dad’s balloon of confidence deflated. He sidestepped by blaming the media, and he came across as deceptive.
- Transfer ownership. You need peer power in order to convince others to buy in. That means you must shift your ideas and decisions to others so they’ll embrace them. Did Heene have peers in his life who backed him up? No. One by one, former colleagues stepped forward to trash the guy. They essentially called him a media whore. His peers weren’t convinced that he was telling the truth, so we weren’t either.
- Adjust your energy. It’s critical to choose the right energy level for the situation. Mom and pop Heene seemed to have hit the sweet spot for the 911 call and the ensuing police visit at the house. The cops who monitored the family on lift-off day thought the Henne family got the verbal and body language right. But they couldn’t sustain it. Why? Energy feeds on itself. Once the Heene’s went off-script, they were done in. Turns out the “amateur scientist” was also an amateur actor. Dad’s body language when young Falcon talked too much on CNN was a giant red flag. Dad’s face, body and tone of voice changed drastically and revealed that he was lying.
Heene’s plan to land a reality gig crash landed, and not nearly as gently as the Jiffy Pop balloon in the newly-ploughed field. Instead of facing reality TV cameras, Heene and his wife are now facing federal charges. Bottom line? Convincing is not a thunderbolt event. It’s not a once-and-done episode. It’s a sequence of events that unfolds incrementally, earning others’ trust and respect. And that’s not hot air.
Tags: actor, adjust energy, Balloon boy, body language, buy in, Communication Skills, Connect Convey Convince, Connie Dieken, Convince, decisive, Falcon, Falcon Heene, manipulation, Richard Heene, Talk Less Say More, transfer ownership, voice
Posted in Communication Skills, Media Skills | 2 Comments »
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009 by admin
How you communicate a message has a direct impact on your ability to influence opinions.
Here’s my quick summary of the brilliance and blind spots of David Letterman’s attempt to influence public opinion with the news of his sexual relationships and extortion plot, based on a sequence of 3 habits: Connect, Convey, Convince® from my new book, Talk Less, Say More:
Habit 1 – Connect
Definition: Capture attention – give people what they want and value so they tune in to you.
This is where Letterman excelled because America is clearly engaged by his story. His brilliance at connecting was twofold. 1) He claimed home court advantage by getting out front and defining the story as an extortion case, instead of letting other media define it based primarily on the sexual affairs. 2) He stayed in his comfort zone by delivering the bad news on his own TV show, behind his familiar desk, in front of a devoted (if completely perplexed) audience. Like most performers, the late night comic is more in command, at ease, and less anxious connecting in a studio than anywhere else.
Habit 2 – Convey
Definition: Manage information – get your points across with clarity, not confusion.
Letterman’s attempt to positively influence his audience came to a screeching halt at this step for two reasons. 1.) He withheld the salient details, so we’re all left scratching our heads wondering, “Who? When? Where?” His failure to provide pertinent points has a creep factor to it. Some people are asking, “Isn’t that sexual harassment for the boss to have sex with his staff?” “When did this go on?” “Was he married at the time?” “Was it with interns?” He gave the story legs by not addressing these concerns. Chances are, his lawyers admonished him to “Talk Less.” 2.) He confused the audience by mixing in jokes with his admission. The audience couldn’t discern whether it was a joke or whether it was a serious matter, so they laughed inappropriately at times. I do give Letterman credit, however, for specifically acknowledging that he had sex with women who work for him on the show. At least he didn’t pull a Clinton. He admitted to pulling down his World Wide Pants. (Ironic name for his company, isn’t it?)
Habit 3 – Convince
Definition: Manage Action – win commitment and move people to act or believe now.
Letterman showed a gaping blind spot in his attempt to convince one audience, but he was powerfully effective at influencing a second audience, which was likely his primary concern. Let’s look at them separately:
- Audience #1: The general public. Letterman failed to convince mainstream America that they should stay committed to him as a genial talk show host. He risked losing the trust of many Americans because he could now be seen as “that guy” – the serial cheater. He also comes across as a hypocrite for denouncing other mens’ affairs in his monologues.
- Audience #2: the Manhattan district attorney’s office. Letterman scored a home run with this audience. He convinced the D.A. to set up a very quick sting, which lead to the arrest of a fellow CBS employee on charges of attempted grand larceny in the first degree. He got the district attorney’s office to commit to act on the extortion charge and they followed through beautifully.
How will this all play out? It depends upon many factors, including whether Letterman’s sexual partners come forward, what they reveal, whether his wife reacts publicly, and whether the alleged extortionist, “48 Hours” producer Joe Halderman, cops a plea or chooses to go to trial and unearth other facts in the case.
But in the court of early public opinion, winning a mixed judgment on a case as explosive as this is a blessing. Under the circumstances, the approach seems to have worked in Letterman’s favor. At the very least, the talk show host was influential enough to put an alleged blackmailer in the hot seat right next to him.
Tags: Communication Skills, Connect Convey Convince, David Letterman, Influence, Joe Halderman, Public Opionion, Talk Less Say More
Posted in Communication Skills, Media Skills | No Comments »
Monday, September 14th, 2009 by admin
What a week for high profile heckling. Let’s recap:
1.Kayne West interrupts teenager Taylor Swift’s MTV acceptance speech by jumping on stage, grabbing her microphone, and dissing her selection.
2.Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina interrupts the president’s address to a joint session of Congress on health care by yelling out “You Lie!”
Both outbursts were on live TV. And both cases of Rude Tube won goodwill for the target, not the heckler.
Many of you have asked me over the years during presentation skills coaching how to handle an incident like this if someone rudely interrupts you during a presentation or Q&A.
As you can now plainly see, the answer is simple and straightforward:
- Let the audience respond for you. Count on the fact that decent human beings will recognize bad behavior when they see it. Good people are turned off by rudeness, and they will turn on the heckler. The audience will automatically start pulling for you, even if they didn’t particularly support you before. They’re now in your corner, at least temporarily, so you’ll benefit from their goodwill.
- Move on and move away. Take a cue from targets Taylor Swift and Barack Obama. Acknowledge, but don’t encourage. How do you do this? Swiftly move on verbally, and move away from the heckler physically. Don’t give the heckler what he/she craves: more attention.
Both of the high-profile hecklers, West and Wilson, were quick to release public apologies. Why? Peer pressure. The attention they garnered wasn’t what they craved. Both thought they’d be backed up by their peers. Instead, West got booed off stage and Wilson got death stares. Both quickly backed off and apologized, hoping to save face and do damage control.
The fear that you’ll be embarrassed by a rude interrupter during a presentation is real. This fear of public speaking has kept some of you away from the spotlight altogether, sadly. But now, I hope you see that the greater risk is just the opposite. It’s being that guy – the rude interrupter. The incivility of ranting and raving will damage the heckler far more than it could ever hurt you.
So step up to the plate. The audience is pulling for you – not the rude interrupter.
Posted in Communication Skills, Media Skills, Presentation Skills | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 by admin
You’ve been leading a high priority mission for months. You’ve pushed. Prodded. You’ve influenced internally because you believe it’s the most vital issue facing your organization. Your team has invested sweat equity and they’re counting on you to make it happen publicly.
At last, it’s time to present your idea to an audience and influence others to take action. So what happens when you finally stand before your audience and take your swing at bat?
You get hijacked during Q&A.
It happened to the President of the United States on his home turf last week. At the end of his prime time health care news conference, Barack Obama answered a hot button question that was totally off-topic. Instead of asking about health care, a reporter asked the president what he thought of the confrontation between Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge police officer James Crowley. The president weighed in with his opinion on race relations, ending with the tantalizing words “acted stupidly.”
Bingo! Home run for the reporter! She’d successfully hijacked a presidential press conference. If this was a game of chess, she’d just pulled a capture: removing the opponent’s piece or pawn from the board by taking it with one’s own. The president’s health care headline was toast. Now, the headlines were commandeered to scream of the 3 P’s: the president, the professor and the police.
This is a living, breathing reminder to all of us to be mindful of Q&A so that our message doesn’t become part of an opportunistic takeover – friendly or hostile.
Here are a few tips to help ensure that you don’t hijack your own influence during Q&A:
- Don’t answer too quickly. If the question is off-topic and hot button, don’t allow yourself to be hijacked. Gently but firmly respond that the question is important but it’s off-topic and will be best addressed during a more appropriate occasion. Offer a specific time when you will provide a thoughtful answer. The key is that you shouldn’t appear to be dodging the question. You’re simply deferring it to a more appropriate time and place.
- Keep your answer brief. The more you talk, the more likely you are to get caught up in your underwear and say something you’ll regret. Long answers often lead to an unfortunate choice of words (think “acted stupidly”) that can bite you in the backside. Talk less, but say more.
- Bridge back to your key points. The purpose of your presentation is to influence your audience and drive them to action. Never forget that. Use the audience’s questions to reinforce your key points, not to steer the boat in a completely different direction.
- Don’t let Q&A be the final word. Always have two closings. 1) The one that ends your prepared remarks before Q&A, and 2) the one that wraps everything up after Q&A. End with power and a strength of conviction that your message is high priority and actionable.
- Plan for hot topic tie-ins. You shouldn’t be surprised in today’s “anything goes” society. Think current events. What’s on people’s minds? Prepare, prepare, prepare.
As a communication coach, I guide senior executives in their high-profile presentations. As the day of their presentation draws near, I shift our focus from delivery of their key messages to preparation for high stakes Q&A. I ask every relevant question that I believe their audience might ask to ensure that the executive is influential in driving the ball forward, not backwards. Then, I slip on my broadcaster’s cap and link their topic to other hot-button topics. This is an eye-opening exercise for executives who tell me it has saved them from embarrassment, being at a loss for words, saying something they’d later regret, and a loss of leadership influence. It boosts their confidence to handle anything that comes their way.
My inner Girl Scout constantly whispers the motto “Be prepared” in my ear. Never has that been more essential than in today’s loosey-goosey world of Q&A.
Tags: Barack Obama, Cambridge police, Communication Skills, Confidence, Henry Louis Gates, Influence, James Crowley, Leadership, Presentation Skills, Press Conference, Q&A, Race Relations, Say More, Talk Less
Posted in Communication Skills, Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills, Presentation Skills | 1 Comment »
Saturday, June 27th, 2009 by admin
You heard about the married politician caught trysting with his girlfriend in Argentina. On the day he was caught returning from his fun in the sun, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford held a hasty, free association press conference at the statehouse to drop the bomb.
Three words for you, Governor Sanford: Less is more.
His rambling admission of guilt was devastatingly wordy and bizarre. He dithered on about his love of hiking. He blathered about “sparking” with his “dear, dear friend” in Buenos Aires. At last, he meandered into a confession. After finally admitting to philandering, the governor presented his priorities wrong. He tearfully apologized for hurting his girlfriend before he expressed regret that his shameful behavior had damaged his wife and sons, and that he’d done the citizens of South Carolina wrong during his six-day disappearing act.
The governor showed us how not to meet the press.
As a leader, Sanford’s wordy discourse was far too long and misdirected. He needed to talk less and say more.
I hope you’ll never experience a moment of truth quite like this one in your career. However, as a leader you will be called upon to influence the thoughts and actions of others. Here are a few tips to help you influence intentionally:
- Don’t confuse talking with influencing. Most leaders think influence means showing up and giving a speech. They want to look good, sound intelligent, and come across as well as possible. However, the real goal of influence is to move people to commit to action. That means touching hearts and minds, not merely talking your way out of (or into) something.
- Don’t shoot for a quick fix. It’s not the short game that matters – it’s the long game. The Governor will learn this over the coming months as he’s judged by his constituents, citizens and family. A hastily arranged press conference (or meeting) solves nothing. When attendees are caught off guard, they can’t fully process the information you dump on them, which means that you’ve merely delayed the final outcome.
- Move people in the direction you desire. Communicate with purpose. Not just because you believe that a communication of some sorts is called for. The Governor was too quick on the trigger to address the media. His goal should have been to get the story out of the news, not to get tongues wagging and create even more drama.
- Cut the distractions. Did you see the young faces behind the governor as he spoke? They were smiling broadly as he choked up. How weird. Be aware of your surroundings during leadership communications – or make sure that someone else is watching out for you.
- Keep it brief and simple. The key to communication in the 21st century is brevity. Attention spans are collapsing. Demands on time are increasing. Master the complex business of simplicity. If you blather on, you risk losing people’s attention…and their respect.
Sanford’s Wall Street wife was far more succinct. Her statements to the press have been pithy, if a bit understandably passive-aggressive. So far, she’s winning the oh-so-polite war of words for public support.
Leadership communication is about aligning people to influence their thoughts and actions. I encourage you to be purposeful about communicating with influence. Take time to distill your message instead of being long-winded. In today’s world, saying less is truly more.
Tags: communication, Governor, Influence, Leadership, Mark Sanford, Press Conference, Rambling, South Carolina
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Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 by admin
Nearly 10 million people tuned in for a record-shattering season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8 this week. I’ll tie this to you in the workplace in a moment — I promise there’s a business communication connection. The tension was palpable as the bickering couple, caught up in the cheating chatter, came together for their sextuplets’ fifth birthday party.
We’re talking frozen tundra frosty. Ultra-chilly. These two were so cold, the cameras needed de-icing.
Jon and Kate scooched as far apart on the couch as possible, closed off to each other, sending undeniable signals that they’re miserable and their relationship is on the rocks.
Despite trying to play nice for the cameras, their body language revealed that they’re merely doing what they have to do to earn a paycheck. “Kate and I are going through some stuff,” said a glum-looking Jon. You think?
That’s where YOU come in. Are you going through some stuff in the workplace? Is there someone who gets under your skin and, despite your best intentions to hide your true feelings, your irritation or loathing is showing more than you want it to?
Your body talk sends messages that people decode. They size you up in seconds and draw conclusions about whether you’re credible, likable, or trustworthy. Despite the words you choose, people are first influenced by “hearing” your body language. Before they’ll believe your words, they must first buy into your body talk.
Here are a few body language tips from my upcoming Talk Less, Say More book to help you come across at your best:
- Fight the urge to close yourself off. Your instinct is to move away from a person whom you secretly despise. Fight it. It won’t be a secret if you point your body in the opposite direction. Remind yourself to unlock your arms, look at them with as much warmth as you can muster, and conquer your desire to ice, ice baby.
- Avoid Code Red. Discover what specific situations or people trigger an elevated state of anxiety or anger and learn to manage your behavior during these situations. You can’t control the other person’s actions, so focus on managing your own. Don’t damage your career by being the person who’s known for giving someone else the cold shoulder or for crumbling under pressure. Don’t just cope with the situation. Own it.
- Keep it real. Gestures and movements are most effective when they’re a natural extension of the feelings you’re trying to express. But they will undercut your message it if they come across as forced, fake or harsh. Match your movements to the intensity you want to project and they’ll work to your advantage.
- Conquer your mannerisms. Unlike gestures that you do intentionally, mannerisms are the unconscious movements that you make, often in anxious situations – like touching your nose, twirling your hair or scratching your neck. Ask someone you trust to reveal your habitual mannerisms so you can be aware of them and control them when you’re dealing with difficult people.
- Don’t stifle positive gestures. Some people mistakenly believe they talk with their hands too much. That’s rare. If your arm movements distract from your words, then yes, they can be too much. But most gestures are heartfelt and congruent with your words so therefore, they help to improve your energy level. (Just don’t gesture with a one-finger salute, of course!)
We can’t love everyone we work with, so uncomfortable situations are bound to happen to you, either with co-workers or clients. Hopefully, there won’t be TV cameras recording your every move for ten million people to judge. But in this age of Twitter, cell phones that videotape, and YouTube, you never know who’ll be tuned in next….
Tags: body language, Communication Skills, Executive Presence, gestures, Jon & Kate, mannerisms, Twitter, YouTube
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Thursday, March 19th, 2009 by admin
You’re a smart person. The axe is falling on leaders everywhere and you want to come across as valuable and indispensable, right? Here’s a quick cautionary tale to bullet-proof your credibility, straight from your TV.
Time for a how-not-to-do-it lesson from Jim Cramer, the host of CNBC’s Mad Money.
Did you see Cramer get smacked down by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show this month? The normally effusive Cramer transformed into a whipping boy, seriously undermining his credibility. After the smoke cleared, Cramer blamed his wimpy performance on his upbringing, saying he was raised “to take the high road.”
Jim, Jim, Jim. Think again. You allowed yourself to be mugged.
In today’s world, taking “the high road” means protecting your credibility (your brand) as well as that of your organization in a smart, thoughtful manner. A successful appearance either: A) enhances the brand, or B) protects the brand. If your integrity is being attacked, you must protect yourself or risk being roadkill. Let’s review where Cramer went wrong so you can avoid the same fate, whether you’re meeting the media or taking Q&A at a meeting:
Cramer agreed to a TV interview clearly billed as a “confrontation.” A duel. In that context, Stewart’s performance was dead-on. Cramer’s was dead-on-arrival.
A smackdown scenario could happen to you with an adversary, known or otherwise, in today’s one-up, know-it-all world. Here are two things you should not do:
- Don’t underestimate your opponent. Cramer pegged Jon Stewart as a late night comedian. A panty-weight opponent. Wrong. Jon Stewart is an ultra-smart, uber-influential man with a forum to express his viewpoints, for which he’s very passionate. Advice: Know thine enemy. Better to overestimate their savvy than underestimate it.
- Don’t think you can just “wing it.” For a prognosticator, Cramer was spectacularly short-sighted. Lack of preparation against an opponent is a death wish in today’s connected world. Cramer didn’t do his homework – he had no key messages. Thus, he had no influence. Stewart was locked and loaded: Cramer was shell-shocked. Advice: Be prepared to defend your point of view – deeply, clearly and influentially. Don’t allow yourself to be blind-sided and thrown off your game.
Wasn’t it amazing how Cramer groveled and went down in flames? The same thing could happen to you if you’re not prepared. Plenty of leaders are getting skewered – and damaged – by today’s empowered, informed audiences.
Bottom line – when profitability is on the line, you cannot “wing it” anymore. The best-prepared leader wins.
Take this to the bank: Poor preparation leads to poor outcomes, especially in a tough economic climate. Don’t become a casualty.
As a communication coach for leaders, I should send Jim Cramer a thank you card for painfully demonstrating my point.
Tags: Communication Skills, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Leadership, Mad Money, Media Skills, Presentation Skills, The Daily Show, The Today Show
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Monday, December 29th, 2008 by admin
Game over. Cleveland Browns owner Randy Lerner moved swiftly to fire his front office following the final, crushing loss of the season. He cut general manager Phil Savage loose by phone after Sunday’s defeat, and then sacked coach Romeo Crennel the next morning. Most Joes and pros alike support Lerner’s moves because the team under-performed in humiliating fashion this season.
What caused the under-performance? The failure can be traced to the top. Browns insiders say Phil Savage lacked more than just scoreboard numbers. They say he was woefully deficient in communication and leadership skills.
I believe communication and leadership are joined at the hip. The leader is communicator-in-chief. And I don’t mean giving speeches. The first thing any leader delivers is culture. It’s the leaders responsibility to create a winning culture. The championship mindset begins with an open, clear communication path that cascades throughout the organization. Information must flow freely in both directions, with candor and clarity. Without this, organizations unravel and under-perform.
Savage’s leadership communication style smacked of rookie. He created distractions for the players and coaching staff and drew too much attention to himself. Two examples were a public spat with tight end Kellen Winslow over releasing information about team staph infections, and a profane e-mail exchange with a fan.
The Browns organization created a new playbook in how not to communicate. Faced with a leadership communication vacuum, bad habits prevailed as people jockeyed for position, covered their butts, withheld information, took pot shots, or became long-winded. Lacking direction, everyone freestyled their communication. Clearly, the results were disastrous.
This is not to say the dreadful season was all Savage’s fault. The NFL is famous for its revolving door and zero job security. Players are paid to hit, hit, hit. The front office is paid to replace, replace, replace. Stress levels are through the roof as everyone in the organization faces store-window scrutiny and is all too aware of the disposable nature of their job. It’s a challenge to motivate and inspire self confidence.
Here’s where it spiraled out of control: Savage confused leadership with power. The two couldn’t be more different. Leadership means elevating others’ performances, making the whole greater than the sum of its parts. Power, on the other hand, means “me, first.” It’s a narcissistic, alpha-male act that leads others to under-perform. The quest for personal power destroys trust, triggering the team to be less than the sum of its parts.
Savage’s football skills led him to the job. His lack of leadership communication tackled him from behind.
I believe this leadership meltdown is a forehead-slapping moment of clarity. It takes more than talent to reach the top of any profession. This is Randy Lerner’s chance to smack it through the middle of the uprights in Cleveland, to attain the level of success he’s enjoyed recently with his English soccer club.
It starts with hiring a leader who will make creating a winning culture his first priority.
Tags: Cleveland Browns, communication, culture, Leadership
Posted in Communication Skills, Leadership, Media Skills | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 by admin
As I watched President-Elect Obama’s news conference announcing his national security team nominees this morning, it reminded me of why I sat on a phone book behind the anchor desk.
Let me explain why I boosted my butt on a book first, and then I’ll link it to today’s news conference and your executive presence.
In 20 years of anchoring the news, I was paired with lots of male co-anchors. Some of these guys were a foot taller than me. Television news sets were designed and constructed by men, with the desk height created to comfortably seat and showcase an anchorman’s long torso. If I, at 5 feet, 5 inches, planted my tush squarely on the chair seat beside the man, I would came off looking like his little sister. My head would reach his shoulders. So I decided to even the playing field. I boosted my butt in order to have an equal “seat at the table” in the eyes of viewers.
I didn’t let my diminutive frame diminish my executive presence.
Now let me link this to today’s news conference. Obama spoke first, so the podium microphone was set for his height. Hillary Clinton spoke next. She had enough experience to move the double mic down a few inches so it didn’t hide her face in the press photos. Good move, Hillary.
Then we come to Susan Rice, the United Nations ambassador nominee. When Rice, a brilliant Rhodes Scholar, stepped to the microphone as the final nominee, she sounded smart, but looked silly. The microphone came all the way up to her eyeballs, totally obliterating her face. Now picture the scene in your mind: it was a double microphone. Two black spheres. Each microphone hid an eyeball. As her head bobbed up and down reading her script, the hardware danced from her eyeballs to her forehead. It was almost comical, making it hard to concentrate on a word she said. If I was her coach, I would’ve advised her to adjust the microphone in order to safeguard her dignity and allow people to concentrate on her intellect and her message, not be distracted by the silly scene.
My point: people’s perception of your presence can elevate your leadership, or diminish it. Be conscious of how your physical presence is coming across and take action, whether that means moving microphones or sitting taller. The eyes trump the ears. Help people listen to your message.
Tags: Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills, Obama
Posted in Executive Presence, Leadership, Media Skills | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 by admin
Like you, I’ve paid close attention to Barack Obama. As a communication coach, I’ve specifically zeroed in on his ability to get his points across and move people to action.
From a communication perspective, Obama won the race because he successfully applied 3 habits. They’re simple, but profound habits: He connected. He conveyed. He convinced.
These habits are a playbook for business leaders around the world. I could write a book on them. Matter of fact, I have. Talk Less, Say More is scheduled to be released in 2009. Let me summarize these habits quickly by highlighting just a few ways that Obama applied them successfully:
Habit #1: Connect. One of the biggest issues facing any leader today is to engage people in our distraction-driven, listening-impaired, short attention span world. Barack Obama’s campaign connected with what Americans wanted and valued most. He stayed in our moment and tapped into our hot-button issue, the economy. And he delivered it with what I call your PMOC: your Preferred Method of Communication. Early on, his team went digital, using 21st century methods to a wildly successful advantage. For example, Obama’s team text-messaged better than any teenager I’ve ever seen. (And I’m raising two of the most prolific texters in America.) He also engaged us by bringing us together, habitually stressing the United States, not merely red and blue states.
Habit #2: Convey. It’s a real challenge to cut through today’s information overload. Getting your point across requires clarity in order to prevent confusion. Obama learned to make his points with vivid clarity, avoiding ambiguity. Maybe you don’t agree with his viewpoints, but he conveys them transparently, without gumming them up. Storytelling is a key, and Obama’s story was one of humble origins. His campaign was full of stirring videos and his infomercial, watched by more than 32 million people last week, weaved a “my story is your story” narrative to convey that he understands your economic fears and other concerns like health care.
Habit #3: Convince. People are pulled in so many directions today, both in the office and in the voting booth, that it’s a challenge to sway them. As a leader, it’s critical to move people to commit to action. Decisiveness is one of the keys. And Obama is a master decision maker. He allows others to speak their minds, and then he makes the decision. No second-guessing. No waffling. He sticks with his decisions, which sways others to join him. I believe the debates put Obama over the top by demonstrating his decisiveness and calm demeanor. He also capitalized on what I call “peer power.” He gained clout by bringing well-connected people like Oprah Winfrey, Ted Kennedy, Warren Buffett, and Colin Powell into his corner and allowing them to transfer their clout to him.
John McCain used these 3 habits in his concession speech last night, as well. Didn’t you think it was one of the most touching, unifying speeches in political history?
Can you use these habits in the business world? Yes, you can. You can Connect-Convey-Convince® your way to success.
Tags: Barack Obama, Communication Skills, Connect, Convey, Convince, Leadership
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Saturday, September 27th, 2008 by admin
How do you undercut your message without opening your mouth? Leadership means managing your energy level as well as your words in order to influence peoples’ decisions, behaviors and actions. Want to trigger a positive response? Radiate positive energy when your mouth is shut. Want a negative reaction? You’ll soon learn how to spread bad vibes.
Let’s review how this worked in recent high profile cases. Were you influenced by watching the candidates’ personal warmth in round one of the presidential debates? Sure you were. Same with the economic turmoil. You’ve either been inspired or turned off by leaders’ energy levels and body language.
Just for fun, let’s go negative for a moment, shall we? Here are 5 surefire ways to trigger a negative response without opening your mouth:
- Ignore others in the room. Go ahead – ice others in an effort to diminish them. Granted, sometimes it’s inadvertent. You may just be nervous, so you fail to acknowledge others. But sometimes, the deep freeze is purposeful. You may avoid eye contact in an effort to dismiss people you feel superior to. Whatever the intent, icing people backfires. You’re the one who takes the hit, because you unwittingly come across as condescending or angry. Best to respectfully acknowledge and address the people with whom you disagree.
- Look like you don’t care. People form opinions about you with a quick glance at your face. They eyeball your mug, interpret its meaning and respond accordingly. You may be sending the wrong signal with a dour-looking expression, one that looks like you smelled something bad. Some of the world’s most successful leaders share warm facial expressions. They appear open and agreeable and benefit from it.
- Slap on a one-size-fits-all intensity level. Sometimes you need to tone it down and not come on too strong – especially when you’re conveying bad or unwelcome news. At other times, you need more intensity, such as in a presentation when you’re trying to inspire. Match your intensity to the specific situation.
- Bounce your lower body habitually. This is where many people need to tone it down. Pacing back
and forth or bouncing your legs or feet are very distracting and make it difficult for others to focus on your words. Keep the lower body quiet in order to give power to your presence.
- Plaster on a smile. You’ve heard many times that you should smile. But the truth is, it has to be a genuine smile, or it can backfire on you. Plastered-on smiles don’t cut it; neither do contempt smiles. They’re toxic. Genuine smiles have a powerful effect because they increase your likability. People will cut you some slack if your emotions appear to be heartfelt.
The question is, how does your energy level com across to others? Do others define you as energetic? Stiff Engaging? Disinterested? Angry? Icy? As you know, when you communicate with someone, it’s not just the words you choose that send a message. People monitor the non-verbal signals you send. Your intensity, facial expressions, eye contact and body language all send signals that influence others’ decisions and actions.
The vibes you send are crucial for this reason: reciprocity. People give back to you what you give to them. Energy feeds on itself. Energized people create energy and engagement in others. If you look and sound engaged and self-assured, people will respond more positively to you. If you look off-putting, you’ll induce bad vibes and negative responses.
Tags: communication, effective, Energy Level, Engagement, Leadership, Media, sincerity
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Saturday, April 5th, 2008 by admin
Are You on the Eight Ball?
Here are my Top 8 Communication Skills of ‘08 to help you reach your highest performance:
1. Nail the big idea, pronto. You’re living in an impatient, short attention span world. Capture and summarize the critical essence of your message quickly. Make sure your big idea is crystal clear before diving into the nitty gritty details so you don’t distract others with small details.
2. Aim for the heart, not the head. Spewing endless factoids leaves people cold. And bored. Get real with the power of emotional appeal and you’ll motivate people to commit to action. Instead of trying to share everything you know in a single bound, light a fire under people by concentrating on their feelings first. The heart trumps the head.
3. Capitalize on peer power. Why go it alone? Our world is now ultra-connected and you should be, too, both online and in person. You’ll gain clout by bringing well-connected people into your corner. Let other smart, respected pros transfer their clout to you. They’ll help you build influence and make things happen much faster than you could by flying solo.
4. There’s no off-switch in the age of speed. Your words and actions now spread at the speed of light. Every communication has the potential to elevate or sink you because every utterance, every writing can build you up or do damage. There are no irrelevant interviews or presentations anymore. It all matters.
5. Positive wins, so radiate confident energy. Strive to inspire hope and instill pride. Deep down, we want hope for a positive future. Radiate likability and enthusiasm, even on difficult days when you’re worn down. Listen actively and convey positive interest and optimism.
6. Forget perfect. Be relatable. Stop worrying about being flawless and an amazing transformation will occur. People will start relating to you and rooting for you to win. Gone are the days when people bought in to the illusion of perfection. Let it go. People see right though the veneer. They now value genuine, relatable human beings, warts and all. Think excellence instead of perfection.
7. Create shortcuts. Who has time for long-winded messages anymore? Nobody. We’re all too slammed with work. Provide shortcuts and you’ll be rewarded with quicker decisions and action. Use shorter, punchier sentences. Graphics. Clips. Bullets. Pictures. Brevity is the new black.
8. Think the new PC: Performance Candor. Stop sugarcoating and holding back for fear that people won’t like you. Get important issues on the table tactfully and kindly, and admit the truth if it helps improve business performance. Hiding bad news is terribly damaging to both your business and your well-being.
Tags: 2008, Communication Skills, Performance
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